Wizard Of Oz KH Style!
by hakumeitenka
Summary: Can you imagine what the wizard of Oz would be like if the characters were from Kingdom Hearts? yeah, pretty messed up. So read this to have an entertaining presentation of what it would be like. Riku was not hurt in the making of this. Chapter 7 is up!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One: Red Head in Kansas

Note: before you people go crazy, this is my idea (and my friends) of what KH would be like if it took place in Wizard of Oz. Yeah, I just did that play at school. And yes, Toto is a heartless.

* * *

''Toto! Toto! Where are you?" Kairi yelled, running around the old Kansas barn.

"HISSSSSSSSSSS!" yelled a shadow heartless. Kairi picked it up and hugged it.

"Oh that crabby old Ursula! She didn't hurt you, did she? She must be the meanest old witch I ever saw! Let's go tell Auntie Yuffie and Uncle Squall!"

"Auntie Yuffie! Uncle Squall!" Kairi yelled. They were sitting down on a bench, working through a box of peep candies.

"Don't even bother us! Go talk to the nuts!" Squall yelled.

Kairi pouted off to the barn. Toto followed after her. Her blue dress swayed in the breeze. The breeze was awfully strong today…

Sora, Donald, and Goofy were repairing a bench. Kairi came up behind them, crying. They turned and looked at her, then went back to work.

"Oh Sora! Ursula tried to kill Toto!" Kairi cried.

"Well, use your brains and don't go anywhere near her house/cave, and she won't bug Toto!" Sora said, continuing his work.

Donald and Goofy didn't want to say anything. They continued their work quietly. Kairi frowned at them, giving chills up their backs. The shuddered and continued their work.

"Dorothy! I mean, Kairi! Come out here a second!" Auntie Yuffie called from outside. Kairi ran outside to see what was the matter, and Ursula was sitting on the bench next to Auntie Yuffie and Uncle Squall. Kairi frowned at she sat down next to them.

"Now Ursula, what were you saying?" Uncle Squall said, eager to get her off of his farm.

"That heartless is a menace to the community! It can steal your heart and then eat you! Plus, it stole my eel's heart! It's a menace to the community and deserves to be destroyed!" Ursula yelled in a fury.

"Oh that's not true! He's a good heartless! I even trained him to not steal hearts! Auntie Yuffie, Uncle Squall, you won't let her take him, will you?"

"Uh, actually, she got some paper thingy from the sheriff that says she can take him. Sorry Kairi. Just let Toto go." Uncle Squall said. Hm, he actually seemed kinda happy saying that.

"Alright. Let's go." Ursula said. She picked up Toto and put him in a basket.

Sora, Donald, and Goofy came into the room. Kairi dashed after Toto, only to be stopped by them.

"Oh, I thought you were my friends!" Kairi said, tears in her eyes.

"Well, I am. I'm still not sure about the 'sorry excuses for anthro.'" Sora said.

"AUG! SORA! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO HELP ME, NOT BETRAY ME!" Kairi screamed. She stomped out to the street and left. Sora scratched his head. Jeez, Kairi was a brat.

* * *

Um...yeah, that's chapter 1. If you know the story of the Wizard of Oz really well, this will be very entertaining. I am currently writing the next chapters. I like reviews and comments. And if there's a spelling error, feel free to tell me! With that said, i'm off to writing more! Tralalalala! And i finished writing my other fanfic, but i lost it. So give me time to continue that one too! 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Well, welcome back to the story. This is also from a scene in the Wizard of Oz, but it's a little different...

* * *

"Jeez…the wind is getting pretty heavy…" Kairi said as she walked into the dusty wind. She was sobbing slightly from the loss of her dog…er…heartless. She then saw a black blur in the mist ahead of her. It was Toto! He got away from Ursula!

"Toto! Toto! I knew you'd come back to me!" Kairi scooped up Toto in her arms. "We've got to run away! I've already got a head start on this, so let's go! We'll never see that crabby old Ursula ever again! And we won't have to deal with that stupid old Auntie Yuffie! Or Uncle Squall either!"

Kairi ran down the road. The wind was getting stronger. Dust was blowing everywhere. Then, Kairi saw an old trailer by the road. Indeed, it had 'Disney' written on the sides. For some odd reason, Kairi had the thought she new that name, almost as if her life was based on it.

Next to the trailer, there was a small person, about one foot tall. He was packing up stuff from a bag. But he was not a person. He was Mickey Mouse! Kairi got closer to him. Mickey turned around and saw Kairi. A smile came across his face.

"Ah! It's Kairi!" Mickey said.

"How do you know my name, Mr. small, furry one?" Kairi asked.

"Never mind that! You better get inside! It's getting pretty windy out here!" Mickey shivered from the cold.

"Oh, right!" Kairi said. Mickey opened the small door for Kairi. She barely squeezed through. Miraculously, the inside of the trailer was tiny, everything sized for a mouse. "My oh my!"

"Now, why did you run away?" Mickey said. He poured some coffee out of a tiny kettle into two cups. He took a sip from one as he gave Kairi the other.

"My Auntie Yuffie and Uncle Squall let Ursula take Toto away. I got him back, but that was still so cruel of them!" Kairi hugged Toto. His yellow eyes stared at Mickey. Mickey shuddered as he got chills up his spine.

"Well, I bet they miss you. You better get home. The wind is getting pretty heavy. A while ago, it took my whole trailer to a land full of creatures that scared the wits out of me! It took quite a while getting my trailer back here." Mickey said. He opened the door for Kairi and she went out the door.

"You're probably right, Mr. Mouse thingy. I'll go home. Thank you for the coffee!" Kairi ran back towards home, Toto in her arms. His yellow eyes stared back at Mickey through the dusty wind. Mickey kept getting chills from that heartless.

"Poor little girl. I hope she gets home okay." Mickey said. He closed the door shut to his trailer and kept sipping his coffee.

* * *

Yes, the next chapter has been written. Just give some time for me to post it. As for the chapter next, it's really short. It's just some side info that will come in handy for knowing what is going on the the chapter after it. It's mainly for those of you who haven't seen the movie. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

This chapter is for those of you who never cared to watch the Wizard of Oz movie. This also has a little comedy in it. Uncle Henry never used that kind of language.

* * *

"Where's that bitch niece of mine!" Squall yelled. There was a twister coming. Everyone was in a panic as they opened the storm cellar.

"She's not in the house! We'll just have to go inside the cellar without her!" Yuffie yelled. She jumped into the storm cellar with everyone but Sora.

"No! I will never go in without her! I love her, and I won't leave her out to die!" Sora yelled down the cellar. He was brave, but not too smart.

"GET IN HERE YOU RETARD!" Squall yelled. He pulled Sora by his butt into the cellar. Sora yelped, but fell on top of Squall into the cellar.

"Hey! Watch the goods! It's precious!" Sora squawked at Squall. Squall just laughed and shut the door to the cellar. As he shut the door, everyone prayed for Kairi's safety.

* * *

Hint Hint Read the next chapter! What Sora says is very inmportant to the end of the whole story. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Yes, this get's back to Kairi's story.

* * *

"On Auntie Yuffie! Uncle Squall! Where are you! SORA!" Kairi yelled as she ran towards the house. No one was outside. They went into the cellar without them. "Oh fuck!"

Kairi kicked the top of the cellar. She banged on it. Toto scratched at it. There was no reply. The sound of the wind was too heavy for them to hear her. Kairi screamed at them. There was no reply.

Kairi ran inside the house with Toto in her arms. She sat on the bed and stared out the window. The twister was right outside. Good thing the window was shut. The house shook and things in the house started flying around. It seems Auntie Yuffie had left the kitchen window open to let in some air.

Kairi started petting Toto. Her hands scaled his little smooth body. He dug his claws into the bed and feared what was happening. It was a giant twister heading strait for them! Kairi screamed at the sight of the twister getting closer and closer. Then, the window blew off the house and hit her square in the forehead.

She screamed again. Everything got blurry. She couldn't see for a few seconds. But soon everything was fine again. But to her astonishment, she saw a flying cow. Then, she realized the twister had picked her up and she was being flown across the sky!

"Toto! We're flying!"

Toto cringed at the sight of Ursula flying with them. Kairi shooed her away with her arms. Then, she saw more things in the air. She saw a chocobo. Then she saw a girl in a bathtub. The girl screamed as she saw Kairi. Kairi giggled.

The house started to descend. Soon, she felt a plop as she hit the ground. She must have landed near a cave, because when she looked out the window, she saw grey. She shook her head in disbelief in what just happened. Then she got up and went to the front door. She peeked through it. She let out a yelp. She put Toto on the ground and she opened the door all the way. What she saw inside was the scariest thing she ever saw.

* * *

Yes, we are all scared of munchkins. But that is not really what Kairi saw. OOOOOOO! Cliff hanger! 


	5. Author Note

Author's Note #1

Um…if you made it this far in the story, don't stop now. The story becomes a real comedy in the next chapters. Plus, there's a few romance scenes. hint hint Well, enjoy the story. It's really short at some points, but that's because I never add too many details. I expect most people who read this story to know what the characters look like. And as for clothing, the characters are wearing outfits from the Wizard of Oz story, not what they wear in KH. And if you didn't know, Squall is Leon. I prefer to call him Squall because I'm a FFVIII fan. Enjoy the story! XP


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Yes, this chapter is finally longer. And she is in Moogle Land. For those of you who didn't notice, those are the correct lyrics to the songs. I edited them for a moogley feeling. I just changed Munchkin Land to Moogle Land and i added a few Kupos. And the Coroner is me, i played the coroner in my school play.

* * *

"Whoa, Toto! Look!" Kairi yelled. Outside of her dark house was a beautiful garden full of flowers and little houses. Strangely, the flowers were all different colors, including blue and orange. The houses were multicolored, like the ones you see in South Beach, Miami. The sky was blue with no clouds in the sky. Kairi stared at all this, horrified with all the happiness. She was always kind of dark. This place was too girly and cute for her. 

Toto shuddered at the sight of all this. He hated cute stuff and bright colors. It all made him long for the days in which he stole hearts and killed people. Toto sighed.

In the distance, a pink bubble came towards Kairi and Toto. Kairi shrieked and pulled out a pin from her pocket. As the bubble got closer, she popped it. Where it popped, a girl fell to the ground. It was Aeris, the good witch of the North.

"Ow ow ow ow ow…from the way you are, I'm guessing you're a bad which. But I will ask anyways…Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?" Aeris asked.

"Who me? I'm not a witch at all! I'm Kairi, from Kansas."

"Of course you! You're the only one here other than that!" Aeris pointed at Toto. Toto growled at Aeris, and Aeris jumped backwards. "Than that's the witch!"

"Who, Toto? Toto's my dog…heartless…thing…" Kairi said, giggling.

"Well, I'm a little muddled. The moogles called me because a new witch has just dropped a house on the Wicked Witch of the East. And there's the house. And here you are. And that's all that's left of the wicked witch of the East." Aeris pointed at Ursula's tentacles coming out from under the house. Kairi quietly cheered to herself. "So what the moogles want to know is: Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?" Aeris looked at Kairi questionately.

"Oh, I've already told you! I'm not a witch at all! Witches are old, and ugly, too!" Kairi yelled at Aeris.

"Kupo kupo kupo!" giggles could be heard from around them.

"Whoa! What the hell was that!" Kairi yelled.

"Hehe. The moogles are laughing because I am a witch. I am Aeris, the good witch of the North." Aeris said with a smile.

"Oh you are! Well, I'm sorry. I expected witches to be a bit prettier." Kairi said.

"You mean uglier." Aeris said, frowning.

"Um…sure…" Kairi said, and she giggled to herself. "But please tell me, what are moogles?"

"They are the little critters that live in this land. You are their national heroine my dear. Now come on, moogles! You can all come out and thank her!" Aeris said. At that moment, out of the flowers and building, came thousands of moogles.

Aeris smiled and started to sing.

Come out, come out,

wherever you are and meet the young lady,  
who fell from a star.  
She fell from the sky,

she fell very far and Kansas, she says,  
is the name of the star.  
Kansas, she says, is the name of the star.  
She brings you good news.

Or haven't you heard?  
When she fell out of Kansas

A miracle occurred

Kairi hated musicals. "Oh come on! Do I have to sing!" Moogles frowned at her. She had to go along with it.

It really was no miracle. What happened was just this.  
The wind began to switch

the house to pitch and suddenly  
the hinges started to unhitch.  
Just then the Witch - to satisfy an itch went flying  
on her broomstick, thumbing for a hitch.

Then the moogles joined in with the song.

And oh! What happened then was rich!

The house began to pitch. The kitchen took a slitch.  
It landed on the Wicked Witch  
in the middle of a ditch,  
Which was not a healthy situation for the Wicked Witch.  
... Who began to twitch and was reduced to just a stitch  
of what was once the Wicked Witch.

KUPO!

Kairi was ready to throw up because of all this singing. But then a moogles wearing a strange outfit came up to her.

"We thank you very sweetly, for doing it so neatly, kupo." It said.

"Ewwwwww" Kairi said aloud. The moogles let out a sigh.

"You've killed her so completely, so we thank you, very sweetly, kupo." Another moogles said.

"Yes! Let the joyous new be spread! The wicked old witch at last is dead!" Aeris said. The moogles cheered and cheered. Music started up.

"Oh no! NOT ANOTHER SONG!" Kairi yelled.

Ding Dong! The Witch is dead.

Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch!

Ding dong the wicked witch is dead!

Wake up you sleepy head!

Rub your eyes, get out of bed.

Wake up, the wicked witch is dead!

She's gone where the goblins go below!

Below, below, yo ho!

Let's open up and sing.

And ring the bells out!

Ding dong! The merry oh!

Sing it high! Sing it low!

Let them know the wicked witch is dead!

The moogles continued to sing and dance. Kairi held her head, feeling tortured from all this happiness. "AUG!" She yelled. The moogles didn't care. A moogles came up to her.

"As mayor of the moogles city, in the county of the Land of An, I welcome you most regally." He said.

"But we've got to verify it legally! To see-" another one said.

"To see-"

"If she-"

"If she-"

"Is morally, ethically,"

"Spiritually, physically,"

"Positively, absolutely"

"Undeniably, and reliably dead!" all the moogles joined in.

A little girl with a blue cloak walked out. She wore a purple hat and she had brown hair that reached her shoulders. She had blue eyes that sparkled.

"Hey, wait a second, you're not a moogles!" Kairi said.

"Shoosh!" Aeris said.

After the girl glared at her, she began to sing in a clear and beautiful voice. "As coroner, I must aver, I thoroughly examined her. Not only is she merely dead, she's really most sincerely dead!"

The moogles clapped. This girl was much better than any munchkin of Oz could do! Kairi eyed her as the girl opened a scroll. The scroll had "Certificate of Death" written on it.

"Yes! The wicked witch is dead!" Aeris said. The music started up again.

"NO! NOT ANOTHER SONG! NOOOOOOO!" Kairi yelled. The moogles started singing the song again.

Ding Dong! The Witch is dead.

Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch!

Ding dong the wicked witch is dead!

Wake up you sleepy head!

Rub your eyes, get out of bed.

Wake up, the wicked witch is dead!

She's gone where the goblins go below!

Below, below, yo ho!

Let's open up and sing.

And ring the bells out!

Ding dong! The merry oh!

Sing it high! Sing it low!

Let them know the wicked witch is dead!

"Well, now that's over." Kairi said. Then three moogles in tutus came up to her. They began to sing.

We represent the lullaby league!

The lullaby league, the lullaby league!

And in the name of the lullaby league:

We wish to welcome you to Moogle Land!

The three moogles skipped off. Then three more moogles came up. They had cigars in their mouths and wore striped clothes. They began to sing.

We represent the lollypop guild.

The lollypop guild, the lollypop guild.

And in the name of the lollypop guild:

We wish to welcome you to Moogle Land!

They skipped off. Kairi was finally happy there were no songs left. But music started. "NOOOOOOOO!" Kairi yelled.

We welcome you to Moogle Land, Tra la la la la la la  
From now on you'll be history.  
You'll be history, you'll be history, you'll be history.  
And we will glorify your name.  
You will be a bust, be a bust, be a bust  
In the Hall of Fame!

Tra la la la la la la la la la la

Tra la la la la la!

Tra la la la la la la la la la la

Tra la la la la-!

There was a loud bang. The moogles jumped to the ground, scared, and stopped singing. Malificent stood in a puff of smoke directly in front of Aeris and Kairi.

"OH GOD! THANK YOU!" Kairi said. She was tired of those stupid moogles.

"Where's my minion?" Malificent asked.

"Yonder she lies!" Aeris said, waving her hand in the direction of the house.

"Where?" Malificent asked.

"There." Aeris giggled, pointing to the house directly.

"Alright, who's the smart-ass that turned her into a house. Was it you, Aeris?" Malificent asked.

"Not the house! Under the house. " Aeris said.

"Under the house?" Malificent asked, bending down to look.

"Oh, I'm sorry. My house dropped on her." Kairi said shamefully.

"You dropped your house on my sister? How could anyone be so unbelievably clumsy!" Malificent asked, getting up.

"Look closer." Aeris said. Malificent saw the feet and screamed. "You recognize her then?"

"Of course I recognize her! Who else would wear those emerald anklets with those socks?" Kairi laughed at this comment Malificent made. "The Emerald Anklets! Little girl, you've done me a service. I shall don the Emerald Anklets and make my power greater than ever!"

Ursula's tentacles shriveled up. The anklets disappeared.

"The anklets! They're gone! Aeris, what have you done with them?" Malificent asked.

"See for yourself! Step forward, Kairi."

Kairi stepped up. She had the two emerald anklets on her ankles. The moogles glanced up. They all muttered "Kupo…"

"AUG! I will get my revenge!" Malificent yelled.

"You better leave now. Before someone drops a house on you, too!" Aeris said. Malificent stared up at the sky in horror and then disappeared.

* * *

Yay! A long chapter! I hope it wasn't too long. -- Those were the actual lines at the end, except the last two lines. I memorized the whole Wizard of Oz script because i was supposed to be the Scarecrow, too. But Denis got the part.sob I memorized it anyways, so the lines are the actual lines except for a few changes i made. If you see any mistakes in the song lyrics, tell me! 


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

* * *

"You can get up now, my moogles. Malificent is gone." Aeris turned to face Kairi. "Well, it seems you have made a rather bad enemy of the Wicked witch of the West. The sooner you get out of An, the safer you'll sleep, my dear." Aeris said.

"Oh, I'd give anything to get out of An all together. But where do I start for Kansas? I can't go the way I came!" Kairi stared up at the sky.

"Well, that's true. The only one who might know would be the great and powerful Wizard of An himself!" Aeris said.

"The Wizard of An? Is he good, or is he wicked?" Kairi asked.

"Oh, he's very good. But very mysterious. Her lives in the Sapphire City, and that is a long journey from here. Did you bring your broomstick with you?" Aeris smiled.

"Um…no, I'm afraid I didn't." Kairi said.

"Oh dear. Then you'll have to walk. The moogles will see you safely to Sapphire city. Just follow the purple brick road."

"Oh, but what happens if I-"

"Just follow the purple brick road." Aeris turned back into her pink bubble. She flew away.

"Goodbye, kupo!" all the moogles yelled.

"My oh my! People come and go so quickly here!" Kairi said, confused. The moogles giggled. "Follow the purple brick road?" Kairi stared down at the ground. There was a road leading to the edge of the land. It was made with purple bricks. How ironic.

The moogles started into song. Kairi glared at them and they stopped. She ran down the road, alone. The moogles followed her just to the border of Moogle Land, then they waited there. They waved goodbye to Kairi.

"Thank god I'm out of there! One more minute there and I would have gone crazy!" Kairi giggled.

* * *

Yes, yet another short chapter. I haven't started the next chapter just yet, so i will be right on it! Sora is introduced next, so Sora lovers, be ready!


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

The moment all you Sora-loving fangirls have been waiting for!

* * *

"Oh, Toto. Now which way do we go?" Kairi said, worried. The purple road split three was. Toto jumped out of Kairi's arms.

"Excuse me, that's a very nice way."

"Who said that?" Kairi said, looking around. She was in a cornfield with no one around except a few crows and a scarecrow that looked familiar. He had his arm pointing Left. Toto barked at the scarecrow. "Oh, silly Toto. You know scarecrows can't talk."

"Well, that's a nice way, too."

The scarecrow was now pointing right.

"Hey, wasn't he pointing the other way?" Kairi said.

"Well, some people do go both ways!" The scarecrow was not pointing both directions.

"Hey! You did talk!" Kairi said, running up to the Scarecrow.

"Yes I did!"

"Well, you seem so retarded. Come with us to see the wizard. He'll give you a brain." Kairi said.

"Hey!" the scarecrow yelled. He was so furious she thought he was stupid.

"What's you're name?" she asked him.

"Sora." He replied.

"Sora, isn't that a girl's name?"

"No!" Sora blushed.

Kairi laughed. "A little hot scarecrow has a girl's name. I think you're a boy…I hope…" Kairi noticed the scarecrow was tied to a pole. She untied him.

"Oh, thank you! My, it's good to be free!" Sora yelled. He then tripped and fell to the ground. Music started up for a song, but Kairi yelled and it stopped.

"Aren't you scared to be out here?" Kairi asked.

"Nope! I ain't afraid of anything! Well, except maybe a lighted match…" Sora showed Kairi some of his straw. She frowned.

"Well, maybe you should stay stupid. I have a witch mad at me."

"Well, I am not stupid. And I would face a box of matches if it meant helping you. You're just so cute!" Sora said. The crows started whistling.

"Wow! The county of An has flirting cute scarecrows, too! To An?" Kairi asked, putting out her arm.

"To An!" Sora replied, linking arms with Kairi.

"I'm not singing…" Kairi said. Sora looked down in shame. "Oh, fine. One song."

We're off to see the Wizard!

The wonderful wizard of An

We hear he is a wiz of a wiz if ever a wiz there was

If ever oh ever a wiz there was

The wizard of An is one because

Because because because because because

Because of the wonderful things he does

We're off to see the wizard

The wonderful wizard of An!

The two of them skipped off. Toto followed behind Sora.

"HEARTLESS!" Sora yelled. He pulled a keyblade out of nowhere.

"No! it's Toto! My dog!" Kairi said.

Sora put the keyblade away. "Keeping heartless for pets is a bad idea…"

The two of them went arm in arm off to the left road. They skipped along.

* * *

Wow! Sora's cuteness got Kairi to sing. And remember, there was a reason to why Toto was a heartless, not Pluto. It explains that in a later chapter.


End file.
